White Road On A Black Day

It was getting dark outside. Snow was falling hard that day. And even thou I was holding the cup of the black sugarless coffee in my hands, I could feel the chill going through the bodies of people, whom I could see from the window of that warm coffee shop. The look on the faces and the consistency of balancing themselves as they walked on the white roads of Ranforth Drive, while at the same time trying to look through the windy air that carried the snow flakes with it.

I looked down in the cup. It was nearly empty now. But my thoughts weren’t staying on getting a refill because my ears were filled with the jumbled murmered voices that were filling the coffee houses. A high pitched voice of a lady explaining another man how her daughter hasn’t called her back from somewhere I didn’t know of. And an old man slurping on his coffee as if he’s trying to enjoy every single sip. A few giggles of some young girls and some wisperings as if telling each other some dirty little secrets of their boyfriends. And a few middle aged men talking about construction work. But in all this comotion, my mind couldn’t focus on any of them at that point. Infront of me was a girl with tears in her eyes. My gaze was fixed on one that was rolling down her right cheak as it landed on the table. And before another could land she wiped them off with a napkin. Still sniffing a bit, she looked at me and said. “I don’t see the point anymore”. She paused and looked outside the window as if she was remembering something. “It’s getting harder and harder each day… And I just don’t know what to do” She said with desparation in her voice. I was hoping she would just stop thinking about all the things that has happened that weak. I knew it wasn’t that easy but in my mind I knew that she has to try. Looking at the cup of coffee that was laying infront of her, still full and probably cold, she wispered something. I couldn’t make anything out of it. “What?” I inquired. She looked at me as if trying to understand why I failed to hear her words. She opened her mouth to say something but then she stopped before she could even begin. “Nevermind…” she said. “You wont understand…” she said with a cracked voice. “There are other options. But I don’t know if you’re strong enough to take them on.” I gave her my opinion on the matter and recieved a confused look from her. She was trying to analyze while looking me straight in the eyes. “How?” she asked me. I took another sip from my cup which made the cup completely empty. Looked outside just to get a glance of the road again. And then I started to talk to her.

After talking to her a few more minutes Presenting a solution to her that I thought would work in her favor and while give her the opportunity to gain what she’s been after, I realised that the conversation had no conclusion. To my surprise, there was nothing I said to her that she wanted to follow. She was convinced that she was making an effort in her own approved ways but I knew that it was the complete opposite. After insisting for a few moments to consider the possibility she said, “I doubt I have any interest in these matters. These things are not for me. So let’s not talk about this anymore.” After this comment I could feel that there was nothing more to add to the scene. I knew what my role was in this meeting and I understood the part and played it well. Unfortunately it didn’t end the way she pictured it in her head and niether did it end in the way I visioned it. But atleast she was good in re-writing another end to that scene. Leaving me as just a listener. Leaving her as a victim. And leaving the society as the cruel villian. She picked up her purse. Said her good byes and left the building. I sat there for a few moments, trying to piece together the events that took place in that weak. Her denial to accept the solution ment nothing. I was still right. I was still sure that her method of approach to the matter wasn’t right. But the one thing that created a reason for not to lose my temper on her stupidity was a very simple and honest truth. It wasn’t mine to deal with.

10 minutes ago: “How can I love someone I haven’t met and accept him to be my husband when I barely know him.” she said. The look in her eyes was announcing her desperation. “You can end it if you don’t want to continue this game.” I said while looking at the counter and waving my fingers to grab the attention of the young waitress. “I can’t… I don’t think I can… Women from our family don’t do this!!!” Silence followed after loud screaming words hit the walls of the coffee shop and bounced back. I could feel the head turning at the tables behind me and I could see the rest of the people behind her looking back at us. She looked down and said “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to shout at you…”. My concern wasn’t her shouting anymore. I was more discusted with the way people were looking at us. Yet my eyes were stuck on her lowered head. “If you can’t ask for a divorce then I’m afraid you’ll have to deal with this when you leave for Pakistan and arrive at his door step.” I said and continued, “I know a good divorce lawyer that can take care of…” before I could finish my sentence she jumped and said “No! I have to follow my parent’s will… They are…. I respect them… I don’t think I can ever say ‘No’ to them… I haven’t… I can’t…”

10 minutes after: “What’s wrong with that girl?” asked jenny the waitress. “Nothing” I said and while trying to avoid another question related to whom jenny would have called “weird girl” I said “Can I get a refill?”. “Yeah… Drinking black again?” she asked. “Yeah…” I replied as I looked down inside my empty cup and then continued, “It’s another black day… too bad…”. She smiled while pouring the coffee in my cup. “It’s always a black day.” she said and walked away to another table. “I looked at the cup, again, filled with hot coffee and then my eyes were back on the road again. A white road on a black day.