Words may not be enough


So many people.. So many questions.. And so little time to give a justifiable answer. As you can tell, I’ve been awfully busy with my life.. I haven’t had much time to write anything nor have I had anytime to be in contact in most of my online friends. But something brought me back here. A tragedy, A loss, A fire that hurts not one but many.

Things are strange when you’re in a world that doesn’t stop for any one and will not stop because it must not. My education and social life are taking turns in keeping my occupied and the more I try to keep it simple, the more I make it complicated. But I’m glad that I am busy.. It leaves me less time to think about all the things that would usually bother me or at least disturb me in some way.. But life took another turn. And I’m back writing about a painful occasion.

I just heard a news that has really disturbed me.. a very close friend just lost her father. And I’m left with questions. Why did she have to face this? Why is it that she must face it alone? Why is it so important for God to make things really devastating for people who do not deserve that kind of punishment?

There are many more questions that are popping up in my head but the more I think about it, the more it saddens me.. I feel sad for what transformation she is going to go through.. I feel sad because this is one point in her life that will change her directions and her entire way of thinking.. I’ve seen a similar transformation before and I didn’t like the what I saw in another friend of mine.. The innocence was gone.. The jolly friend that was always there is barely there anymore.. The friend who would have done anything to be a friend is someone completely different, someone else. Call it selfishness or call it an unusual way of thinking but this is how I felt after his father passed away.. Life moves and and so did he and so did I.. it was another transformation.. Maybe it is for good.. I’m not close to him anymore so I don’t exactly know this NEW person. But I’m sure this is what was meant to happen.. This is what was intended from this unusual phase of his life.

I wish that God gives my friend the courage and the strength to deal with her loss. I wish that God will somehow make it easier for her to be part of this world without the shadow of her father. I really wish a lot of happiness for her.. Even thou, I know it’s not that easy for anyone.

I made peace with myself when I faced something that represents tragedy in my life. Maybe I cannot compare my pain and my suffering with her’s or my other friends.. But I do understand the meaning of loss and I do understand how much it takes to move on.

My best wishes and deepest amount of regret may not be enough, Kiran. But I know God has a way and a reason for all the things that are meant for all of us to face. May God be with you in this tragic and tough time. Amen.

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